QOTD

"People take care of their surfaces and varnish them; everyone is dressed as though just out of a band-box, washed, soaped, scraped, shaved, combed, waked, smoothed, rubbed, brushed, cleaned on the outside, irreproachable, polished as a pebble, discreet, neat, and at the same time, death of my life, in the depths of their consciences they have dung-heaps and cesspools that are enough to make a cow-herd who blows his nose in his fingers, recoil."

- Victor Hugo

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Pie Break

Have you ever stopped and observed the cow on the front of Skinny Cow products? I just have one question for these people. What farmer in their right mind would ever want a cow that skinny?

 

In other news, today the National Post has an article in which they claim that 123 year old man in Bolivia is the oldest man ever documented. They should probably all go read their Bibles.

 

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Wonder

The little town of Wonder didn't have many roads. Everyone knew Whoa Lane, and yet no one did. It was a road of mystery. Whoa Lane held the prize for the road with the most car accidents in one month. Many knew why, other's just pretended they didn't.

Citizens of the little town of Wonder were often taken over by a sense of awe as they travelled down Whoa Lane. On the lawn just before Mary's Market there was a sign that emitted an aura of bright delight. The sign attracted the eyes of motor vehicle operators, pedestrians, local business employees and of course that random fellow who walked past every day on his way to Cathy's Café.
The string of car accidents had all occurred in the stretch of road between Clifford's Claws and Mike's Motors which was just past the sign; depending which way the car was travelling.
Although townsfolk had complained to the town council about the problems this sign was causing, the council couldn't seem to find a legitimate reason to take it down. Every time they thought they'd come up with something the owner would return with a well-developed rebuttal. Jack knew his sign was a distraction, that's why he'd put it up.

Jack had studied the signs in the area in order to acquire the most startling and yet mesmerizing characteristics. He knew every fabulous font, when the font had been super sized without need, and he paid special attention to the creative colours. The citizens of Wonder couldn't take their eyes off Jack's sign, and that's just what Jack wanted when he started to construct his sign.
Jack didn't get a lot of business at his business. Since the sign was installed he had received a lot of curious customers who only entered the store to see what all the flashy colours on the outside withheld from the eyes of those nosy kibitzers. Jack didn't care about how many people came into his store, he was just very proud of the sign that sat outside of it.
What would all the citizens of the little town of Wonder say if they entered Jack's store and discovered that he only sold one item? They would probably question why he chose Intense Pickle Doritos.

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Baking with Batman

In order to correctly construct such a baked good, we'll need a few ingredients. Before we even begin to discuss those, make sure you take the butter out of the fridge. Softened butter is much easier to work with when it is in fact softened.

This is your average baking show. I already have all the ingredients carefully measured out, sitting in bowls, waiting to be mixed together to create something beyond delicious. The butter is also already softened.

Place that butter in a mixer bowl and add oats, flour and brown sugar. (The exact measurements aren't important so just add enough until you think it tastes right.) Then you will mix it all together and do the hokey pokey. I'd probably turn myself around after that, just for added affect.

Put half the oat mixture into a 9x13 pan and bake it for 10 minutes. I have previously prepared a pan and it has just finished baking, how convenient.

Spread sweetened condensed milk over the oat mixture and then add a healthy amount of chipits. This is where the other half of the oat mixture comes in handy. It's like the top part of the bagel, that piece of bread that just completes the sandwich. Be prepared to bake the pan for another 25 minutes.

As I write this I am taking my finished pan out of the oven. I hope you enjoy your Chocolate n' Oat Bars as much as I will.

 

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Intense Pickle

I have finally acquired the Intense Pickle Doritos which I have been searching for for the last three weeks.
You have no idea what I had to go through to get these two little bags of Intense Pickle Doritos. Mother failed multiple times so I had to take matters into my own hands.
After work today I stopped at the Zehrs in Kville and they disappointed me as did the Superstore. Then I tried to find a convenient convenient store to stop at. This isn't always easy at 5:00 on a Friday afternoon. However, the Shell just off Erie Street is apparently the only place that knows how to order in chips. I just wish they had bigger bags in stock, instead i had to buy two little bags which aren't that big.

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SMTW

The past few days haven't been very special so I will just write one sentence per day. I'm sure you'll understand the day after you read the sentence.

Sunday
- I remembered that it was the Sabbath and I kept it Holy, just a little R & R and chocolate.

Monday
- "It was just an all around exciting day," said Moma as she yawned over the boredom of the day.

Tuesday
- Subway for lunch, the van windows were cracked open when it poured, the phones in the law office stopped working and a non-chilly chili for supper.

Wednesday
- It was wing night at Jose's and, sadly, we didn't make it out of there until after Big Brother had already started.

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Friday the 19th of July

With much cheer and pleasant conversation, the evening of July the 19th was a simple Friday night. With eighteen people placed in a room fit for eight, the energy was high and the discussion was lively. Although it wasn't said out loud, we all knew they were just there for the ice cream cake that would be served at precisely 7:00.

The guests, fed and content, left that simple abode to embark on a journey which would kindly deposit them at their own humble dwelling with the span of a few minutes. You see, there are many benefits to living so near to ones relatives.

Though it was but 9:00, the sky was clouding over and the threat of a storm lay thick in the air. The guests had all departed, the dishes had been placed in the dishwasher, the living room was placed back to it's original settings and the residents of the simple abode were settling down to enjoy a good book before the restless night that awaited them.

Had they known what that dark sky would create, would they have sat there so peacefully? Would they have been so comfortable in their simple abode?

The reality of the situation hit when they viewed the fallen tree branches through the lightning of the persistent storm. That was the beginning of an unsettling and sleepless night which was becoming more and more apparent by the moment.

 

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